Lighten up

Dear Me,
Lighten up.
Love,
Everyone

I was eavesdropping on a couple of other homeschool mothers this afternoon.  One is like me and this is her second year of homeschooling, except her kids are older and she is cobbling a lot of her curriculum together.  I prefer to buy most of my curriculum from one source and then supplement (except for Science, you can see that post elsewhere).  The other mother is tackling her first year.  Listening to the advice being given, my initial thought was that both women needed to lighten up.  But then I realize as I spend the mornings nagging, sighing heavily, growling at my kids that they need to get their assignments that I give out done, and that they need to finish the day, and they need to write this other thing, and read that... Really, I'm the one who needs to lighten up.  Why am I homeschooling?  Seriously.

Seriously?  I'm homeschooling my children because I want to make sure they get a good education regardless of where we live.  We might move a lot or a little, but I want consistency for them.  I moved a lot as a kid and teenager, nothing was worse then the guidance counselor telling me that my credits weren't enough and that I would have to take another year of school.  Not that I had failed too many classes (I retook Algebra, but I didn't fail it the first time, that was my only "failure"), not that I had screwed up for any reason other than my family moved a lot and I wasn't going to graduate with my class.  It was a humiliating experience.  I want more for my kids than I had.  I want to help them learn, and know that they are learning.  I don't want them to fake it.  I want them to have the chance to understand, and if a subject interests them they can pursue it.  We can work with it.  If they don't understand we could slow down.  I want them to have our beliefs honored in our schoolwork, its so nice to be able to include that in our day.  I want them to have time with their father and I, and with one another, learning to cherish and love each other instead of despising thier siblings and parents.  I want... a lot.

Here in Idaho, we have it pretty simple.  Provide your children with an education that is equivalent to what the public school kids graduate with.  The government isn't going to hunt you down if you study World History before American History, as long as in the end, your kids learn something, and finish with similar educations as the public school kids.

What I need is to slow down.  Again, we live some place where we are privileged enough to not have to be held accountable to an outside source.  This means that my kids can work at their own pace.  I just need someone to tell me that one day of quality Science instruction is better than 3 days of dry text and a vocabulary list that a 5 year old has little hope of remembering.  I need to recognize that sometimes subtraction is hard for a 7 year old who doesn't particularly care for Math.  I need to encourage my kids to enjoy thier studies, not groan their way through assignments (a little griping is to be expected, but tears?  I'm not sure).  So I guess I need to take a deep breath.  We might not get through the curriculum before the public school kids break for the year.  Who cares?  If we are still learning, and more importantly enjoying our educational endeavours then perhaps that should be enough. 

So dear self, settle down, let the kids learn at their own pace.  That's why we are here.  And yes, they'll screw around, and yes, some days are going to be unpleasant, but all days shouldn't be.  We're here to learn, but that's not all we are here for in life.

Now may God give me the peace to accept this all ;)