Small things

To start, the Boy broke his arm this week.  We are definitely praying and hoping that it heals without complications.  He was a trooper through the whole ordeal, in fact, the combination of his personal brands of stoicism and humor kept the ER doctor and nurses laughing.  The kid really is one of the brightest lights in our life.  He's managing to handle the discomforts and inconveniences with great aplomb.

Other small things today:  The kids' history all line up this year.  I've often had the girls in the same history but last year they worked at their own paces and got off track.  This year, the girls will return to Medieval and progress through the Renaissance.  The boy will continue on from the ancient times to the Medieval and then continue on to the Renaissance too.  We'll be steeping in these time periods for about a full year.  I'm excited.  I really liked the curriculum that we used with the girls when they were around second grade, so I look forward to using it again with the boy.  I have to piecemeal quite a bit for the girls school this year.  The days of buying a large order of curriculum and working through it are gone for now.  I regret my previous dependence on workbooks.  It seemed like such a little thing to be able to replace consumables before.  I'm a little worried about replacing some of the vitals like Math for the boy, but I guess we'll figure something out... we usually do.

So as much of my life seems to be lately, there are still good things amidst the bad.

Back to School

Today is the day that the city goes back to school.  Pictures of kids dressed to impress are popping up on my Facebook newsfeed.  The schoolyard across the street is filled with the voices of excited children, and the nasal drone of names being called intermittently to the school office over the PA system.  My own children check their daily lists, balk at their assigned chores, and continue their lessons as they have throughout the summer.

I considered sending the kids to public school this year, even as I know it isn't the best option for any of my individual children.  They would certainly suffer from the experience as strong-willed, self-directed individuals that have indulged upon rabbit trail learning and open ended time frames all their lives.  But in the end, I save that option as one that we'll only pursue if there is no relief to this onslaught of bad circumstances.  I like homeschooling my kids, even as I nag at the boy to get ready for history, even as I again review fractions.  

I wonder though, how poor people even manage to send their kids to public school.  I looked at the costs of enrollment and for one child its around $50.  That doesn't include the costs of breakfast or lunch, or the special supplies to be purchased at the store.  The government may say we are entitled to a public education but it certainly is not free.

Ache

I limp to the window and watch as my oldest and youngest set out walking the dogs.  My husband has pulled out of the garage in order to go to "fake work".  He's been out of real work now for 9 months.  He goes to an office in a neighboring town, where he and his former coworkers try to find jobs.   Metal prices are down, you know.  Things might pick up soon.  In the meantime, he uses his time to look for work.  With tens of thousands of unemployed geologists out there, the competition is stiff, even for the best.

I hurt.  The student doctor at the free clinic said it was a torn meniscus.  The best they could do was suggest time and a stronger anti-inflammatory that eats my stomach.  These things normally heal and in a few weeks it should have been well on its way.  I know from the constant pain, the catching, the painful joint popping that wake me up at night, it is not right.  I know enough to know that this is not the simple small tear.

I hurt. The arthritis, discovered three years ago, in the other knee and in the lower back has gotten so bad that I can't help but cry in my sleep.  Its surprisingly excruciating.  Some days, I use crutches simply because the pain cannot be dimmed by the pain relievers I take around the clock.  It is a surprise when I push back the blankets and step out of bed only to realize I cannot actually stand or walk.  Some days, I feel sorry for myself.  A walk.  Just a short walk.  I am not asking to hike the back country, I'm just asking for an evening walk.

I look for work, since the security of a paycheck would keep us in our home, with our car, and feed our children.  I interview, and I answer questions about the knee.  I am not sure if its appropriate for them to ask, but then I am not sure if I'm lying by telling them its temporary.  So I guess we are even.

I ache.

A change in Naptime

I'm going to take Naptime in a different direction for a while.  I know I haven't posted in the last 3 years, and I need to write to reflect that change.  I need write through what is going on in my life now.

Life is hard.  Sometimes having an outlet helps.